Our world

Breast is best - my beef with Bundchen

Giselle Bundchen hit the headlines this week having announced in a interview with Harper's Bazaar magazine that "There should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months."

Now. This kind of statement is always bound to ignite the female touch paper of emotional responses, not least coming from a model who was posing in swimwear for a photo shoot only 6 weeks postpartum.

We Heart Stokey - Lollibops and Lollipops

It may come as a shock to those of you who know me as writer, designer and pop culturalist extraordinaire to discover that I am actually a mother of 1 year old twin girls in my spare time. I know, and with such a lithe nubile physique, I don't know how I do it myself. Eva and Mia, my precious bundles of double trouble are perfect, hilarious, messy, and all mine up until the day they decide they didnt ask to be born, life is unfair and they up sticks to find themselves in some far flung corner of the globe.

Back spasms and Brazilian banana cake

Today is Friday, the day when Chief Staff member Nanny N has the Ninos for me while I work/slump/shop. Mainly slumping by Friday it has to be said.

An odd week this week, not least due to the fact that glorious Summery sunshine has been suddenly axed for Autumnal blusters. Glad I didn't buy another maxi dress. Of course my mate Endo has been bubbling silently this week, leaving me totally shattered (too tired even to get to yoga which seems a bit daft, but it's the honest truth.) As a result I hadn't been out and about this week as much as usual in favour of just managing to be at home and cope, which has been a tall enough order. Nanny J called in with extra Green and Black supplies on Tuesday, Wednesday I did manage a couple of laps on the bike with the child trailer, but in general it has been a sloooow week.

Sleepless in St Ives

It has been a Green and Blacks day.

My blood sugar level tends to go haywire just before pain kicks in, so this afternoon I was a zombie and we had no sugar boosting snacks in the house. A Tesco delivery later and all is good with the world but endo is keeping me awake. I am shattered but cannot sleep, the pain burns and radiates throughout my body prickling my nerve endings.

Sofa, duvet, wheat bag and laptop while the painkillers do their magic.

My friend endo

Endometriosis is my long standing companion. It will feature a lot here, so here is my history, in brief, for those that like to know about these things:

From the age of 19 I felt as if my batteries were running on half power, my abdomen would bloat to make me look 6 months pregnant, and I would have pain that felt like I had been beaten up from my back, abdomen and legs. Following numerous dead end GP visits and tests for glandular fever and gall stones I was left to go home with paracetamol for "just one of those things". Not liking the sound of this I sought help in the form of acupuncture and Chinese medicine in Cambridge. This really aided the pain and for some time I was symptom free of this odd ailment.

Fast forward a few years, I am living in London and the pain comes back. My energy levels struggle, and this time the pain feels as if I am also being burnt with a white hot poker on the inside of my body, the beaten up pain is still there and the fatigue is all encompassing. I have a doctor who finally sends me for a scan and we discover I have PCOS (Polcystic Ovarian Syndrome) which goes some way to explaining my hormonal problems but not the incapacitating pain. I keep hounding this poor doctor as he is the first one I feel has actually taken me seriously, and the pain becomes so bad I am having to take large chunks of time off work, dosed up on seriously strong painkillers.

Finally, a laparoscopy shows the source of all this trouble - endometriosis. I had never heard of this condition, and if I had maybe I could have pressed for help with my symptoms earlier. It took, in all, 8 years to get diagnosed. For a lot of that time I was told there was nothing wrong so felt convinced this was all in my head. At least the source had been found.

I have had 4 laparoscopies in all, 3 with diathermy to burn off the endometriosis. The darn thing keeps growing back though, so here I am again now waiting for another consultant appointment. The amazing and miraculous thing is, of course, that I am now a mummy, Eva and Mia are truly my little miracles and I treasure them each and every day knowing how lucky I am to have them since so many with endo are not so lucky. The universe has been great to me, sending me twins when 1 child was a tall order.

I know look after my endo with a monthly full body massage, acupuncture and a diet containing as little wheat and dairy as possible, although I go off the rails occasionally. I did a 2 month detox of mainly raw food and felt so much better for it, so my aim is to eat 75% vegan and raw, with the other percentage for keeping the balance and allowing myself to live normally.

Exercise I am convinced helps the pain by releasing endorphins, but the tricky bit is to know when to make myself so more, or when to stop as the pain can be overwhelming. I am aiming to run a 10k again this Autumn, 5 years after I last did one so I am in training twice a week running with a friend, and also doing yoga and cycling.

Endo is horrendous physcially and emotionally. It drains energy, vitality and robs it's victims of time, relationships and in some cases fertility. I have been lucky, but my journey continues with living with my constant companion.

Today is a low level endo day...burning pain and tiredness but I will try to do get out and about with the girls this morning and rest later this afternoon when The Staff come to spend some time with the Ninos. Thank goodness for staff for days like this.

http://www.endometriosis-uk.org/

Le weekend

Hot. Hot, hot, hot, hot...lovely weather this weekend.

Friday night was an evening out with the school girly mates for a good catch up, ending with a large portion of spicy tats post pub. Suprisingly no hang over on Saturday, so we took the girls for their first every bike ride with the trailer, kindly loaned from Cousin Paul OC. The ever-near completion guided bus route cycle path was perfect for our trial jaunt, ending in a visit to Great Grandad George in Over.

BBQ in the evening with the Outlaws and Jeano, then a crash out in front of Bubba Ho-tep...need to re-watch that one to understand what on earth was going on before I gave in to sleep.

Endo has kicked off today making it a slightly grumpy Sunday, so a visit to Cambridge in the heat was ill-advised, especially as tourists are swarming around the streets making it faaaaar too crowded for a painful mooch; I nearly cried in Starbucks as the queue was so long. You get the idea.

Back to the garden for a splash about in the paddling pool.