Guest Diva: Dauna on Fibromyalgia

My name is Dauna and I live in the US.  When I came across the Dexterous Diva blog posts about living with chronic illnesses, I saw part of my own life immediately.  The amazing women here offered me important reminders for things that are too easy to forget.  In case it helps someone else, I thought I would share some of my experience too.

The pain began when I was about 22 years old.  I have vivid memories of waking in the middle of the night sobbing because of pain searing across my shoulders, and of being helpless against the sharp ache in my hips as I sat for my 45-minute drive to the university every morning.  Sometimes shifting positions eased the pain, but more often nothing helped.  I was always tired, always sore, and often frustrated and hurting to the point of tears.
At first my doctors found nothing wrong and told me it was “probably psychological.”  It was humiliating.  But after two years of tests and doctors, I was finally diagnosed with fibromyalgia.  I had never heard of it, but I was so relieved to have my pain recognized as a “real” physical disorder and not all in my head!

Fibromyalgia is a chronic pain condition that causes fatigue and muscle pain, particularly when pressure is applied to specific tender points on the neck, shoulders, back, hips, arms, or legs.  My other symptoms included sleep disturbances, morning stiffness, tingling and numbness in my hands and feet, and restless legs.

I was fortunate to be diagnosed relatively early, and also that my body responded to treatment.  I was put on a tricyclic antidepressant for a few years at a low dose to help me fall into a deep restful sleep and stay there all night.  At first I was embarrassed to be on an antidepressant because of the “all in my head” stigma. But it became clear that poor sleep and fibro flares go hand in hand – if I don’t get a good night’s sleep the pain flares up, and when the pain flares up I have even more trouble sleeping.  The prescription sleep aid (plus high doses of pain relievers) helped me to break that vicious cycle.  I started sleeping well and felt better. To this day, my beauty rest is a top priority.

Along with proper rest, I’ve learned that a healthy diet, regular exercise, and controlling my weight and stress are all important factors in managing my fibro. This wasn’t an easy change for me.  In my teens I developed some very bad habits. I regularly stayed up until the wee hours or even all night to party and hang out with friends, ate and drank without regard for consequences, and generally abused my body.  But I gradually got used to a healthier lifestyle, and it has made all the difference.

Thankfully, over the years I’ve been able to minimize the flares.  It takes constant attention, which can be a real frustration.  Sometimes I get distracted, or just get tired of dealing with it, and I fall into old habits of not taking care of myself.  At other times I feel fine and inadvertently push too hard physically, such as with a new exercise program.  Then the pain flares up again and reminds me that I can’t neglect or fight my body. I have to work with it. I’ve learned not to beat myself up for those moments of weakness since it doesn’t do me any good.  I just start paying attention again and move on.

Now I’m in my 40s and fibromyalgia is part of who I am.  I have good days and bad days, and sometimes I am entirely without pain for long periods of time.  Although I’ve had to modify my lifestyle and activities to avoid having it flare up, it hasn’t kept me from living.  In the past 20 years I raised an intelligent and lovely daughter, earned a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, travelled abroad, and went to law school and became a successful practicing attorney.  Fibromyalgia is a pain in the ass, and in the shoulders, and in the knees. . .and while it might slow me down, I try not to let it stop me.