50 is the new 20. And 30. And 40...

So lovely people, readers of the Dexterous Diva will know of my journey with endometriosis. I don't want to use the word "struggle" as it evokes a negative image of something overcoming me, when I am doing my best to maintain a sense of equilibrium with it - facing the beast square in the eyes if you will.

Endo and I are old friends, since it first arrived at the age of 19 to steal ny teenage energy - although of course my body was prone to it already.

There is, currently, no cure.

Yip.

There are only pain and symptom management techniques. I have tried many complementary health techniques (and would devote myself to more if money was no object), 5 laparoscopies, and the Mirena Coil.

None of these have worked.

Acupuncture, massage and a high raw, wheat free diet help alleviate symptoms for me, but there is no final cure.

There are operations which purport to help endo, but no end-all-for-everyone technique. Everyone is different.

So, I am looking forward to menopause :) I don't want to wish away my younger years by any means, and I am living them to te best of my ability. But, I look forward to a time which is without pain, no inherent tiredness and inflammation, no inbuilt broken-ness.

I want to preserve my health and fitness so that in my 50's and beyond I can travel, run, go out, see the world with verve and vigour.

I want to be that mum with pink hair at gigs with my girls, I want to come home in the early hours of the morning again. I want to not give a damn, but to enjoy every second as precious, pain-free and perfect.

We are supposed to live in the moment, as the now is all that exists.

Is it so wrong to dream?

Nifty fifties here I come :)

DD

x