In my continuing quest to raise awareness of endometriosis, my main weapon is quite simple.
Talk about it.
Talking about "womens problems" still evokes images of 1950's women in horn-rimmed specs muttering on hushed tones over a formica table. Cue Les Dawson style arms-folded-over-breasts, knowing looks and a toasted tea cake.
'Nuff said.
Ok, so endometriosis is, by default, a women's problem. So are fibroids, cysts and a host of other nasties (of which I have most on the list, cheers, oestrogen for your dominance).
But, listen up folks, it's nothing to be ashamed of!
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
It's not your fault.
You don't have to be embarrassed.
If somone doesnt like hearing why you are feeling crap then the problem lies with them, not you.
When I have a certain type of endo pain my abdomen gets really, and I mean really, bloated. It often happens quite quickly, and within minutes I won't be able to wear the clothes I have on very comfortably. Literally, my belly is swollen and hard and looks like I am 6 months pregnant.
The science behind the bloat is that as the adhesions bleed and my pelvic areas becomes inflamed and painful, my body very thoughtully sends down water to flood the capillaries and make the area cooler. Clever stuff. But it looks awful and I look huge, which often attracts glances or judgemental glances as I waddle about.
I don't give a shit.
If anyone sees me and thinks I look fat/pregnant/whalelike, that's fine. My personal way of dealing with ALL symptoms of me endo is to be open and honest. It's not everyone's cuppa but I find it helps enormously when explaining how 5 minutes ago I looked 2 stone lighter than I do now, why I need to go and be violently sick at an inconvenient time (pain does that sometimes) and why I am so exhausted.
A well -meaning friend of my ma in law once said to me how much more prevalent endo is now, that in "her day" women just got on with it.
Did they get on with it or were they just not sharing their experiences?
There is a lot to be said for "getting on with it" in terms of accepting how to live with this thing, learning, moving, growing, becoming self aware, self educated, looking after my body, but put up and shut up?
No thank you.
So, endo sisters I encourage you to be honest. Don't protect other people from their discomfort at hearing your symptoms. It can't be worse than the pain you feel already.
Can I leave you by sharing an amazing post by Endo Writer, which provides an incredible glimpse into daily life becoming untenable from endo.
DD
x
You should definitely be honest and shamelessly so. Why should your pain embarrass others? It's of course not your fault and their issue if it makes them feel awkward.
ReplyDeleteI used to suffer from quite severe period pains (I'm sure nothing compared to your daily pain however) and was so embarrassed about. Often I had to go to the school nurse to wait it out as the pain killers kicked in - or else I felt I'd faint or be sick in class - if it was in the morning I would have to wait in bed until the neurofen kicked in before I could get out and go to school. It was frowned upon though and I was made to feel guilty - perhaps as the 'women's problems' excuse was often abused by people wanting a free ticket out of gym class...
Anyway, my point is this pain is just as real and dehibiltating as a broken leg or case of flu - much worse in fact - and so to suggest you should just 'get on with it' is absurd.
Keep doing what you're doing and put yourself, your body and your health first. That's all that matters.
xx
Thanks so much for your lovely comment xx
ReplyDeleteWow - powerful post by Endo Writer.... leaves you in no doubt about how excrutiatingly painful and destructive Endo is. Am thinking of holding a 'Swishing' event... do I just send any money made your way Jo?
ReplyDeleteMy aunt is 10 years older than my mother - so they're in their 70s and 60s respectively. Mom told me that my aunt would spend her periods on the toilet crying. While I'm sure that many of us would have just "gotten on with it" in the old days - many of us would have 1) not worked because society didn't expect us to, 2) explained that the trouble was "woman problems" and that would have sufficed.
ReplyDeleteThese days we have doctors who are interested in women's health and the vaguest of understanding of our plight. However, the best way forward is, of course, to talk about it. Thanks for a great post and a great link to Endo Writer. Unfortunately I know how she feels...
Foxy
Ren, that would be amazing. And yes please, send my way. I am in the process of setting up as a trust to fund other endo charitites, but at the moment yes to me. xxx
ReplyDeleteThanks always for your support and comments Foxy. xxxx
ReplyDelete