So, last night I ran 9 miles. Massive achievement for me, so pleased and proud.
Today I am in pain, it's fairly bad but bearable and I need to rest.
So, that means plans have to change. As always, I need to be aware of my limitations and go with the flow.
Sadly, not everyone understands this, and it happens often. A friend today said she gives up on me for cancelling "again" .
Well, give up.
As I told the person concerned, I cancel, friends, family, clients, colleagues, when I need to. It's not nice, I hate doing it and over the years I have worked hard to drop the associated guilt. If people think I am a flake, so be it. Try having young toddlers, living in pain and still smiling.
If I had to be somewhere super super urgently and was able to walk then I would push myself to go and pay for it for the next 3 days afterwards. This is what people don't understand about a chronic illness - I know what I am managing, I know how to deal with it and if you don't understand? Not my problem, I got enough already and I am dealing with them thanks very much.
I suppose people see my running updates and are confused by the fact I can do that one day and not the next. Well, it's the way I live my life and I am happy to talk about it so people understand, but I am not going to continue to apologise.
So, any one else want to tell me how crap I am today? It's an open forum :)
DD
x
Hmm...a friend said that?? I think not! Merely an individual with limited imagination and a lack of empathy.
ReplyDeleteIts all about the management - not only of the pain, but also the pain caused by the inevitable payback of missing out!
Keep on Hon.... xxx
Ha, and I KNOW you know this one! xxx
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry but a true friend never gives up. I don't suffer from endo but i can appreciate and share a lot of other difficulties you face.Life gets in the way sometimes and you can only do what feels right and should never be made to feel less worthy than the amazing person you are. Real friends can be hard to finds, they are like diamonds in the rough xxx
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this new attitude lady. Less guilt, maybe a couple of less so called 'friends' but a Jo that is managing endo AND running marathons. You rock lady! And crap is not a word I would use to describe you EVER. The word that best describes you is inspirational xxxxx
ReplyDelete[...] is a chronic illness. Many people don’t understand. Friends come and [...]
ReplyDeleteHey DD
ReplyDeleteFirstly - you go girl!! 9 miles?! check you out!
Besides that Well you clearly are a complete waste of time :-P JOKES! I used to say I lost friends due to Endo, but i now have a good group of guys and girls who know i only cancel on them when I am physically unable to move. The people I have "lost" were just no use to me, if they couldnt accept it then i dont need them. Dont get me wrong i still struggle to comprehend it when if it had been any of them id have done what i could to understand and help.
My friends and family know id do anything for any of them even if it means that i am crippled for a few days after. I am still learning when to say no, im the kinda girl that does first thinks later. My dad has had to have surgery on his neck and it left him paralysed in the arms thankfully through nerve agrevation not damage. I am a degree qualified sports therapist and have done my all to get him with the use again which i am proud to say i have acheived. Physically it has almost ruined me, doing full time hours then visiting him on the evening to work some more. It is safe to say I am looking forward to sleeping my weekend away. I have shed tears involuntary while driving from work - they literally run down my face without me having a say in it, i over slept by an hour one morning, and havent eaten some nights due to the pain but he is my dad and ive done it for him. Had he been someone that neither appreciated it or showed gratitude id have walked away, just because it would not have been worth my suffering - that sounds/reads sooooo selfish but its the kind of things we have to accept.
What riles me and i bet every other endo sister is the mis-interpretation of it being a "bad period" GRR!!! but even so, if it was a bad period then surely women should be a smidge more sympathetic, one of girls i dont talk to anymore she complains of period pains that last for her first day and has been known to take time off work for it. why? why? i just, no, words cannot describe what i think when she has the ordacity to moan about me behind my back.
Some people are just not worthy of our time. We have had to learn to adapt to this stupid disease, we dont ask for thanks or sympathy but a bit of understanding goes an awful long way.
I hope your gf's soon come to the realisation that this is a chronic disease that has neither kill or cure treatments and you do as you can, if they dont then they are not worthy of your time :-)
xx